Before you take a job at Jackson Ski Touring

Remember: they don't care if you are intelligent and knowledgeable, they just want you to be obedient and malleable.

You ski free the way the caddies got to use the facilities in "Caddyshack". In fact there's quite a bit about the employer-employee relationship at Jackson Ski Touring that reminds you of Bushwood.

At the time I was there, at least one member of the board of directors would always come in with glistening mucus dangling from his nose. It gives new meaning to the term rich snot. Winter brings out the drippers. These are the people who always have a hanger, who leave a trail of droplets across the service counter, the floor, your lunch, or wherever else they happen to roam. They're the ones whose sleeves and gloves are always shiny and wet and who seem to have missed school on the day handkerchiefs and facial tissue were presented as polite ways to stem this tide of nauseating nasal flow. It's just an added burden that one of their chief representatives is also in a position of some power over you.

Know your place and stay in it. You are a servant. More and more of the original old guard are dying off, so almost no one really thinks you're lavishly paid at five dollars a day, but the management still wishes it was true.

There's a definite pecking order among the staff at JSTF. They rank on each other constantly in the normal run of things, talking about who is the most lazy and useless. Then, once the management lets it be known that someone is on the way out, the survivors demonstrate their loyalty by taking their parting shots. It's only human and quite hard for our social species to resist. Still, it's ugly to watch and even uglier when you're on the receiving end.

If it doesn't snow, you have no job. If it snows a little you may be able to shovel enough of it into the trail to stay employed. Good luck with that.

The best news is that by working at Jackson Ski Touring you will qualify for our support group for PJSD (Post Jackson Stress Disorder). It's really just a drinking group where people are free to share their stories about their grand experiences in The Big Time.